The big dating dilemma: do you tell him that you love him? Do you
in fact really love him or is it a passing phase? How long should
you wait to tell him? Should you wait until he says it first? What
if your love isn't reciprocated? How and when should you say it?
All of these questions race through your mind after you've been
dating your boyfriend for a while. Unfortunately, there are no correct
answers to the questions, as it is dependant on the individuals
involved, and the way in which they are emotionally programmed.
Fortunately, there are some basic guidelines that may be generally
First of all, make sure that the emotion you are feeling is in
fact love. Love and lust are often easy to confuse when you are
head over heels for somebody. Do you get butterflies in your stomach
when you see him or think about him? Do you really miss him
when you haven't seen him for a day or two? Does he make you swoon?
Do you feel like this always, or just when you're being intimate?
If you've answered yes to all of these, then chances are that you
have some really strong emotions developing.
The second important factor to consider is time. If you've
only been dating for two weeks, chances are it's still lust. There
is no set time period to graduate from lust to love, but it's only
natural to be crazy about someone when you first start dating. It's
fun being with someone new, the novel activities you engage in,
the fact he is so interested in you, the sex is exciting
- when you're having so much fun, it's hard to tell if the emotion
you are experiencing is genuinely love. So, as a general rule, give
it at least a few months. It takes time to find out that
he has some really annoying habits. Once the novelty wears off,
is he really all that much fun, or is he really a bit of a bore?
Is he still paying enough attention to you, or is he more interested
in playing with his buddies? Are you flirting with that new hottie
at work, or do you only have eyes for your man. I think it's safe
to say at this point, that if you are still ga-ga over him, then
you really are in love. You know that your love is true if after
a number of months, you find that you can live with his irritating
or gross habits. If on the other hand you find you don't, whatever
you do, don't tell him you do - even if he says he loves you. You
must be honest with yourself and your partner. Failure to do so
will only cause pain later down the road and you know what they
say about "what goes around, comes around".