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[1, 2]

When to Say "I Love You"
Chapter 2

Now that you're positive that you're in love, do you tell him, or do you wait until he tells you? Well, feel him out a bit before you decide, look for other non-verbal signals that he is sending. You will know if he loves you by the way he acts and the way he looks at you. If you find that your man is treating you well, seems to be generally interested in you and your life, then it probably means that at least some of the feeling is reciprocal and chances are that you won't scare him off. Some men find it hard to be very demonstrative and express emotion. If you have a man like this, he may well be waiting for you to say it first. Also, if you have a more sensitive, expressive, man, he might be relieved to hear you say it. The only time that you are really in danger of sending a man running is if he is not at the point in his life where he is ready to commit to one woman. Again, by waiting an appropriate length of time, if he is still seeing you exclusively, then chances are that he isn't that afraid of you and your feelings.

Guideline number three: timing, timing, timing! The first time that you tell him that you love him should be a memorable moment. Do not send him an e-mail telling him that you love him. Another big no-no is saying it during or right after sex, this may confuse him and make him think that you are really enjoying the sex and that you didn't really mean what you said. It would be disastrous to tell him when you are inebriated; he will just think that you're a big lush. Also bad is in a hurried moment, like when he is about to go out the door. Do not phone him at work to tell him for the first time either. The best time is when you are both relaxed and just sitting around talking to each other, it will mean so much more when set in the right context.

Hopefully when you do tell him, he will be touched and will tell you that he loves you too. If he doesn't tell you that he loves you after you've said it, don't panic, it may well be that he has to absorb what you told him and think about it for a while. The other common occurrence is that he may have to slowly work up the courage to say it to you, as it is not something that some people say very easily.

As a general rule, telling your partner how you feel is a positive thing. Unlike the world of sit-coms, real life love is not a game, nor a farce. It is not funny to string someone along when you're not really interested, nor is it appropriate to make light of someone else's feelings. If you want to form a lasting bond as a couple, it starts with honesty, even if that opens up the possibility of your feelings getting hurt. The words "I love you" mark the transition between dating and having a serious relationship. Make sure that you start your journey off on the right foot.


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