When to Say "I Love You"
Now that you're positive that you're in love, do you tell him,
or do you wait until he tells you? Well, feel him out a bit before
you decide, look for other non-verbal signals that he is sending.
You will know if he loves you by the way he acts and the way he
looks at you. If you find that your man is treating you well, seems
to be generally interested in you and your life, then it probably
means that at least some of the feeling is reciprocal and chances
are that you won't scare him off. Some men find it hard to be very
demonstrative and express emotion. If you have a man like this,
he may well be waiting for you to say it first. Also, if you have
a more sensitive, expressive, man, he might be relieved to hear
you say it. The only time that you are really in danger of sending
a man running is if he is not at the point in his life where he
is ready to commit to one woman. Again, by waiting an appropriate
length of time, if he is still seeing you exclusively, then chances
are that he isn't that afraid of you and your feelings.
Guideline number three: timing, timing, timing! The first time
that you tell him that you love him should be a memorable moment.
Do not send him an e-mail telling him that you love him. Another
big no-no is saying it during or right after sex, this may confuse
him and make him think that you are really enjoying the sex and
that you didn't really mean what you said. It would be disastrous
to tell him when you are inebriated; he will just think that you're
a big lush. Also bad is in a hurried moment, like when he is about
to go out the door. Do not phone him at work to tell him for the
first time either. The best time is when you are both relaxed and
just sitting around talking to each other, it will mean so much
more when set in the right context.
Hopefully when you do tell him, he will be touched and will tell
you that he loves you too. If he doesn't tell you that he loves
you after you've said it, don't panic, it may well be that he has
to absorb what you told him and think about it for a while. The
other common occurrence is that he may have to slowly work up the
courage to say it to you, as it is not something that some people
say very easily.
As a general rule, telling your partner how you feel is a positive
thing. Unlike the world of sit-coms, real life love is not a game,
nor a farce. It is not funny to string someone along when you're
not really interested, nor is it appropriate to make light of someone
else's feelings. If you want to form a lasting bond as a couple,
it starts with honesty, even if that opens up the possibility of
your feelings getting hurt. The words "I love you" mark
the transition between dating and having a serious relationship.
Make sure that you start your journey off on the right foot.